we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize