You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
