Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
