Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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