yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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