i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
