Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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