FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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