stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I would fuck him just for his dog
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
