do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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