I faked an abortion last night.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
