The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
