so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
