literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
