She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
