Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
