hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
