I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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