I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
