he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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