barbara walters just said penis...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
