you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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