piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I still have a little drunk in my system
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
