I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
