Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
