Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
