I just made out with a guy for $7.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
