I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
