Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
