are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
