omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
