i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You made out with two different species that night
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
