He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
