But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
