My Higher Power is John Stamos
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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