On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
