hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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