He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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