she was so not down for the gang bang
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
