just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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