just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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