he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Someone shit on the floor
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
