holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
