god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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