and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
