Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
