Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
