they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
