My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
