so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You can't motorboat a personality
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
