Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
