he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
