I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
