I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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