Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize