worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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