Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
