I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
